Weaning off Swaddling and Pacifiers

Weaning off Swaddling
The question always comes up "When should we stop swaddling?" You can swaddle your baby until he/she no longer likes it. Here is my story on how our little one gave us the message:

Night 1: One evening when our baby was 8.5 months old she started to become a "true person" with demands that we had not faced before. She always had needs, but the wants were something new. In the past she would follow our lead with whatever it was we wanted her to do. It was almost overnight that she became headstrong. One night my husband and I went to swaddle her and upon placing her in the sleep positioned swaddled in the crib, she resisted. She tried to break free, turn over, and would not cooperate. This was our cue that our swaddling days had ended. So we took the swaddle off, took the sleep poistioner out of the crib, and put her on her back with a light blanket. I knew that she could sleep without a swaddle since she was never swaddled for naps aT daycare. This was a useful piece of information. For without knowing this, we might have otherwise thought she COULD not vs. WOULD not sleep without it. The strange thing was she did not seem to want to be swaddled while at the same time she did not want to sleep free. We had a night from HELL! Our past months of pure sleeping bliss was slipping away fast!

Night 2: I thought she may be cold so I put on socks and a onesie with a sleeper with feet over it. We placed her in the crib with a light blanket and she again cried like we had never heard before. We made the mistake of going in and checking on her too often that night (giving her false hope) which ended in another rough night. She went to sleep at 6pm, she cried for one hour or until 7pm, woke up at Midnight for 30 minutes, then woke again from 2:30-5:30. I started to think we would never get those restful nights back.

Night 3: We knew what needed to be done and we were both determined. This is important since if you are not really motivated to do this, you may hinder the success by giving in. We needed to take our own advice and just do it! We needed to put her in the crib and not go in-period! This would be hard and is something we had never had to do. So after being put in the crib we closed the door and she cried for 30 minutes and then slept the entire night! YA!

Night 4: She cried for 20 minutes and then fell asleep again until her early morning bottle at 6am.

Night 5: No crying at all. From this point on, she was back to herself where we would put her in the crib and she would almost smile or start babbling. Over the next week if there was any crying it was for less than 5 minutes.

The Problem of Mixed Messages

Giving a child mixed message becomes a barrier in weaning them from anything. These mixed messages are usually why habits continue for longer than needed. It is critical to be consistent and persistence with a new change. In most cases, your baby's habit can be broken in less than one week and even as soon as 2 days! The older a child is, the more important it is to be consistent with messages. Babies do not have too much of a memory so this makes change even easier.

In addition, this story demonstrates how even 2 people (my husband and I) who knew what to do, can resist it and easily forget. Our constant checking in the first 2 days was a hindrance. If you can peek in at the baby without the baby seeing you that is fine, but if your baby sees you, then you are back to square one. It can help to even go outside for a few minutes if the crying might tempt you to go back in and check. For us by night 4 we put her down, went outside to have dinner on the patio with the door shut (did not want to hear the crying), and when I went back in the house 20 minutes later she was fast asleep.

Interval Delayed Response Method

Many will advise to wait a few minutes before responding to a crying baby, and then the next night wait longer (10-20 minute intervals), next night longer, etc. Whether it is getting them to sleep through the night, or you are guiding them to make some type of change, this approach applies. Even though this method can work eventually, it may worsen the problem by extending the habit-breaking process. In the end this approach will just take longer than going "cold turkey." It is better than doing nothing if you are someone who just can't leave the baby and not respond (which some people can't do). Personally I feel it is giving mixed messages and that the best thing to do is when you get your cue from your baby and just don't respond for one to two nights and your little one will get your message clearly.

Remember your baby, and eventually your child will test you and you need to pass this test. You are doing them a favor for it is essential that babies get their sleep too. A good night sleep for a baby means 10-14 hours a night plus their 2 short naps during the day.

Weaning off Pacifier Use

To wean a baby from a pacifier is best done before the baby is too aware that they have power. It may be harder to wean a baby after 7 months, but no matter what the age is, the drill is the same. Just do not give the pacifier and endure the crying for a few days. Once you decide to make this change, (whatever your reasons are) do not make the mistake of giving in and giving the pacifier back (mixed messages). Otherwise you will create a baby that is even more strong-willed to resist this new change since they know that with enough crying, you will give in.

In conclusion, the approach above is common sense and even if you truly understand it and decide to use it, it will still be hard for a few days. No one wants to hear their baby screaming, but stay strong for if done right the first time, the entire family will benefit. There is no perfection, since this is a baby we are talking about. Just strive for making each night better and better.