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Topics
Below are:
Getting
to know your baby
Your baby in the first month is just adjusting to life
outside the womb and
your hormones are in
a tail spin. This being said, in the first few weeks of life, your sleep (whenever you can get some) is critical. You will need
time to get to know your baby,
and schedules make this
easier to do. With a
schedule you are more
able to distinguish
a baby's reason for
crying. Remember as
bad as it can get (like feeling like a zombie), each
month should get better
and better. If each
month seems to be getting
worse something is not
working and you need
to really evaluate what
you are doing. It
only takes a few days
to break an old routine
or habit and start something
new. Babies are
quite flexible. Make
sure that during the
first month to talk
to your baby as much
as possible. Tell your
baby what you are doing:
"I am folding your laundry,"
"I am changing your
diaper," or "I am going
in the other room for
a minute-be right back."
The more repetition
you use, the sooner
your baby will understand
what you are saying.
Crying
There will be some unexplained
crying during the first
month and sometimes
into month two. If a
baby is still crying
after you feed them,
this is a good indicator
that this is a "fussy
time" since most babies
are content after a
feeding. These times
are hard! Usually you
know how to comfort
your baby and all of
a sudden nothing works!
As you get to know your
baby better, you will
learn more ways to comfort
them. The good news
is that the crying spells
usually are few after
the first 2 months,
unless your baby truly
has colic. Other reasons
babies cry are if they
feel too hot or too
cold. Hands and feet
will often be cool since
that is where temperature
escapes. Try feeling
the baby's back. The
best thing is to dress
your baby like you would
dress yourself. Your
baby may cry when they
are over stimulated
by TV, music, noise,
or visitors. Baby will
cry when they want to
be held. And of course,
they will cry when hungry,
tired, need a diaper
change, or they are sick.
It is OK to let a baby
cry for a few minutes
a few times a day. This
is normal! Remember, the only way a baby can "talk" is by crying, so do not jump every time your baby lets out a wimper.
Attention
Span
After the sleepy baby
phases during month
one, babies seem to
have a 20-30 minute
attention span in the
first 2-3 months of
life. After 3 months,
attention span can sometimes
last for 30-45 minutes.
To keep baby stimulated,
change their seat, view,
or position many times
a day.
Below is a short
list of ideas on what
to do with a baby who
is fed:
Bath-Most
babies love their bathtime
Books*-Read
books or look at pictures
- Read in a funny voice!
Boppy-Seat
for baby
Bouncy
Chair-With
buzzer is nice if baby
gets fussy
Crib
Play *-
Lay
baby in crib to look
at mobile and play
Music Time-Sing,
play music, or dance
for baby or while holding
baby
Pushing
and Scooting
*-Place baby on carpet
or mat and hold heels
and help baby scoot
Sitting
Outside-Baby
can get sun burned in
the shade or just by
running your heater
a babies cheeks can
get red and bumpy since
skin is delicate - cover
baby up - limit direct
sun
Standing
Time*-Hold
your baby with both
hands under your baby's
underarms. Baby in up
right position for a
few minutes and walking
around describing what
you see
Stuffed
Animals-Make
them sing, dance, or
talk
Swing
*-Can make baby go to
sleep so may not always
be the best choice if
baby is already tired.
Tummy
Time*-place
baby on tummy and watch
baby lift head
Talk
to Baby-You
are the most interesting
to your baby - use facial
expressions for entertainment
Visitors-Make
dates for friends to
come over but always
ask if they are healthy
- baby needs to be 6
months to get their
first flu shot
Walks-Great
time for you to return
calls on your cell phone
and get your exercise
too
Put
Down for a Nap -
Remember babies need
lots of sleep
Pace
and Hum-When
all else fails
*Ideas which will
be even better in months
2 and 3
Baby
Phases
Infants,
toddlers and children
go through tons of phases
on their way to adulthood.
Do not make a big deal
out of these or you
may actually encourage
behavior by giving attention,
even though it is negative
attention. Kids seem
to repeat behavior that
they know will get them attention. Newborns are not trying
to manipulate you, most
crying early on is telling
you how they feel inside.
Later on, most crying
is in response to their
environment.
Pacifiers,
Thumbs, and Blankets
A baby's need to suck
is usually a major issue
for parents in the first
few months. Although
there are a few babies
who do not have such
a strong need, most
do. These infants will
either suck their thumb, fingers, or a pacifier. There
are pros and cons to
both, but one thing
I have heard from those
who did have a baby who sucked their thumb/fingers,
is that it is harder to break the habit since you can not take their hand away. Also, sucking a thumb can lead to buck teeth which
braces can correct later. If a pacifier
is going to be used,
introduce it early and
do not limit it for
that may extend the
habit. Instead give
it as often as your
baby wants it and s/he
will probably get sick
of it by 4 to 5 months. At about 5 months, we just took the pacifier away. Our daughter did not miss it but we missed it more since now we had to endure more crying. If you wait to take a pacifier away after a 6 month mark, it may be more of an issues, since baby is more aware. After one year it gets even harder, and often those are the children you see who are 2 or 3 and still have it. So ideally, use it early on and take it away before 6 months.
A
recent article I read
followed a few hundred
babies and also found
that pacifier use did
NOT effect a baby's
ability to breastfeed.
But using a bottle can,
since bottles make it
easier on baby and they
do not need to work
as hard for the milk.
By 6 months, the need
to suck decreases so
try to wean from pacifier
or the habit might continue
for another year or
two. Try to substitute
a blanket or stuffed
toy or limit use to
bedtime only after 6
months. Often you find
your child will get
attached to some comforting
object. All in all,
there is nothing wrong
with a pacifier or a
blanket. These comfort
providers help sensitive
babies and are a part
of being a baby. If
you plan to use a pacifier,
introduce it during
the first week of life.
Gas
and Constipation
Gas
is one of the most common
causes of waking in
babies. Babies often
strain and their faces
turn red, (more like
what you would expect
from a bowel movement)
when they have gas.
Unfortunately, there
are not many solutions
besides pumping legs,
gas drops, or distraction.
When choosing gas drops
all brands for babies
have the same active
ingredients so go with
the cheapest. When all
else fails, their next
feeding should help
to get their system
moving to alleviate most
of the gas pain. The
superb active ingredient
here is liquid. You
can also use a water
bottle filled with warm
water or a microwave
gel on your babies tummy
to ease the pain. Just
make sure it is not
too hot.
Constipation
is actually rare in
newborns. A newborn
is only constipated
if they pass a hard
or formed stool (similar
to an adult stool).
If occasionally stool
is formed, it can mean
that when the the time
came to pass it, they
did not push. Pushing
is a learned skill.
The result is a dehydrated
stool. But it is a "temporary
constipation" that needs
no treatment. This may
happen from time to
time and is nothing
to worry about. If it
happens often, or once
solids are introduced,
you can give a half
ounce of prune or pear
juice an hour before
the baby has milk. Once
your baby starts eating
cereal and baby food,
constipation is quite
common while the body
adjusts. If your baby
has gone 3 days beyond
their usual schedule
call your doctor for
a treatment plan.
Number
of Bowel Movements
Most
newborns will have a
bowel movement or two
each day. In the first
few weeks, they could
have 4-8 a day! But
after a month or so,
babies do not need to
have a stool every day.
As long as they are
normal looking stools
(green or yellow mess)
some babies will go
every two to four days.
The only color stool
you need to be worried
about is red, white,
black, or mucous streaked.
The first week of poops
might be black from
meconium but if you
see black later after
the usual yellow or
green, talk to your
doctor. By 4-6 months
your baby should have
a BM on most days. To
accomplish this give
the baby 1 ounce of
water or juice in a
bottle or sippy cup
twice a day between
feedings. It really
works. It is important
at 6 months to introduce
the sippy cup and work
on getting your baby
to take some juice or
water from it. Some
doctors say if you wait
too long to introduce
the sippy cup or regular
cup your baby my get
stuck on a bottle and
not progress to the
cup by the first b-day. My baby was done with the bottle by 10 months old. We just stopped giving it then and gave the sippy cup.
Tummy
Time for Tummy Aches
Many
of us have heard about
the importance of tummy
time in helping baby
strengthen the upper
body and neck so that
rolling and crawling
can follow. Since we
no longer put a baby
to sleep on the stomach,
you need to make a conscious
effort each day to have
some tummy time. If
a baby has gas, put
them on their stomach,
cover them with a light
blanket, and you will
find this often solves
your problem. There
are few babies that
would rather lay tummy
first in the crock of
your arm. This helps
gas too. Make sure to
watch your baby since
some babies will start
to roll over at as young
as 2 months! But most
will roll over between
3-7 months.
Baby
Acne
The reason that baby
acne or newborn acne is such an important
issue is that it is
very common and it can
often be mistaken for
an allergy to formula
or something in the
mother's milk. Baby
acne will often appear
somewhere around 8 weeks.
It looks like adult
acne and starts on the
face. It then usually
moves down the neck
and upper back and chest.
It lasts on average
for about 2-4 weeks,
but usually returns
later in a less severe
form.
Just
about the time when
your baby is more aware
and you are ready to
take pictures, it seems
to strike. The cause
is hormones from the
mother from when the
baby was in the womb
and also hormones passed
through breast milk.
There is nothing
you can or should do
about baby acne except
just wait. If a "pimple"
seems infected (center
is yellow) you can put
0.5% hydrocortisone
cream on it or some
Dr.'s will prescribe
a low dose benzyl peroxide.
The best thing to do
is to leave it alone
altogether. The reason
you will know that it
is not an allergic reaction
is it will not spread
to the lower stomach,
lower back, or legs.
Whereas an allergic
reaction would be all
over the body and would
look less like pimples
and more like a rash.
If your baby is having
a reaction to a type
of food, it could surface
in various ways. Most
parents look for a rash
but it might be cause
gas, diarrhea, vomiting,
or puffy eyes. The main
thing is to look for
something that is out
of the ordinary. If
you observe a reaction
report it to your doctor
as soon as you can.
Diapers
Here is a big secret……buy
which ever diapers are
on sale to see which
ones you like. Then
use 2 to 3 brands and
rotate with each change
so diaper does not rub
the same area and cause
irritation. I actually
like some of the bargain
brands better. Also,
many books I have read
said to try not to change
your baby's diapers
in the middle of the
night. I found that
when I did, even if
my daughter was crying,
once I placed her back
in the crib, she would
fall asleep after a
few minutes.
For
a baby with a diaper
rash, changing the
diaper more often is
important. When using
diaper rash ointment/cream,
make sure you dry
your baby after using
a baby wipe. If
your baby is damp and
you put ointment/cream
on them, it locks moisture
in, (opposite of what
you want) and makes
the problem worse. When
changing a diaper try
to leave the diaper
off while you talk to
your baby for a few
minutes on changing
table. This airing out
each day is good for
the diaper area. Baby
will occasionally wet
while their diaper is
off so make sure you
have a few waterproof
pads. When pad is wet,
fold it in half and
in half again with wetness
inside. This can go
in hamper for a few
days with no smell or
stain. Speaking of stains,
any diaper leaks (#1
or 2) clean ASAP with
cold water only. Than
wash with next load
- do not need to wash
right away but cold
water spot clean as
soon as possible.
Bath
Time in the Early Days
The
first bath or two can
be a shock to a baby.
Usually after that,
most babies love their
bath. If the baby is
crying, try not to get
tense and rush. Your
baby will pick up on
this. Instead stay calm
and take your time even
if the baby is crying.
Your baby looks to you
for how they should
act. So always take
your time and smile.
My daughter cried during
her first bath only
and has never cried
since. Make sure to
take a small towel,
like a gym towel, and
fold it down and down
again. It ends up the
size of a newborn and
can be placed in the
baby tub under your
baby so they do not
slip down. The first
few baths are important
in setting the stage
for the later enjoyment
of bath time. Clean
entire body with wash
cloth and baby soap.
The only thing that
should be used for the
face is a cotton ball
with warm water. Start
with the eyes and make
sure to end with the
neck area where folds
of fat are common. Baths
are a great precursor
to a good nights sleep.
Red
Cheeks but no Fever?
Your baby's skin is
so sensitive they can
and do get burned in
the shade during the
first 6 months of life.
Often a new baby will
have red cheeks from
the heater or even from
very minimum sun exposure.
If they are acting fine
in every other way expect
for red cheeks and dry
skin, it is most likely
nothing to worry about.
Red cheeks can also
be a sign of teething
which usually starts
after 6 months old. To help with this, put either baby cream on face 3 times a day or aloe vera to help clear it.
Selecting
and Preparing Formula
I lasted one month with
breastfeeding before
choosing to transition
to formula. When choosing
a formula there were
so many choices (choose
a formula with iron).
After testing formulas,
I found that most taste
the same. But the main
differences I found
were in preparation
time and consistency.
Some did not blend well
with water so the shaking
method did not work
and instead I had to
stir vigorously to get
the lumps out. Finally,
I would transfer milk
to vented/slanted bottle
to reduce air bubbles.
Some
formulas were very sticky
which makes for sticky
spit-up and sticky spills.
Use cold water and
baking soda mixture
to clean spit-up so
it does not smell. Also,
some brands had a scooper
that was larger than
other brands so that
less formula was made
from each container.
This is less cost effective.
When
you are changing
formulas for the
many reasons people
do change formulas,
do it slowly so it is
easy on your baby's
system. Reactions can
be hard to spot since
babies have other skin
disturbances in the
first few months.
Burping
and Spitting up
Small
babies do best when
fed sitting up with
their legs between your
legs facing either right
or left. To burp just
hold baby in a seated
position. Do not
burp a baby over the
shoulder since the movement
will cause more spit
up and you can not see
what they are doing
if they are over your
shoulder. Pat back
between shoulder blades
if you need to but most
babies will burp if
you just sit them up
with there jaw bone
resting between your
thumb and pointer finger.
If a baby spits up more
than a few teaspoons
of liquid, you may be
over feeding them. Most
babies will spit up
a little bit on each
feeding. Spitting up
can last until a child
is 2 years old but usually
ends before that. My
baby stopped spitting-up
at about 5 months. If
spit-up is more like
water, it just means
the milk has been digested.
This is nothing to worry
about.
Choosing
Nipples
Use
a smaller hole to go
slower (if baby is eating
too fast and spitting
up a lot), and larger
hole or faster flow
(for a baby who is too
tired to suck). I occasionally
will even switch nipples
depending on the time
of day. Faster flow
gives more air and that
could mean more gas.
That is why many nipples
at stage 2 flow will
say 6+ months, since
by 6 months gas will
usually decrease after
adjusting to solids.
Sometimes in the evening
a baby is so tired that
sucking is a challenge.
You might start with
a slow flow (stage 1)
and end with faster
flow (stage 2). This
can be done on occasion.
Most
bottle fed babies take
20-40 minutes to finish
a bottle. If it takes
longer, change to a
number 2 flow nipple.
If your baby gulps down
their meal in less than
10 minutes, consider
switching back to a
number 1 flow nipple.
Also nipples only last
a month or two especially
if you are boiling and
sterilizing them. Make
sure to check them periodically
by sucking on them yourself
to check the flow. Read
directions on all bottles
and nipples since some
can not be used in a
bottle warmer or sterilizer.
Hiccups
Babies
get the hiccups often!
Sometimes they last
for more than an hour.
It really bothers parents more than the child but still you want to know what you can do. Right? I have found by feeding
your baby a bottle of
milk or water hiccups
go away. I also found
by letting my baby cry
a bit, hiccups would
sometimes resolve themselves
as well since crying gives you more air. You can actually
continue doing whatever
you were doing before
hiccups hit. Ignore them after you have given a drink and let baby cry if needed for a few minutes. They are
more of a nuisance to
you then they are to
your baby.
Reading
Books
Although reading to
a small infant is not
as exciting as reading
to a small child who
has more understanding
and interest, it is
a way to start the love
for books. By 5 months
your baby will be laughing
with you as you read
a book. The most you
can do for your child
is read one book a day
which will only take
you 5-10 minutes. This
will give your child
a jump start on their
education and academics.
They are hearing the
sounds and registering
them. Babies also find
a lot of enjoyment looking
at pictures and listening
to the change of tones
in your voice. In the
end, that story each
day will be another
indicator for the love
and caring you have
for your baby and/or
child.
Rattles
and Toys
As early as one to two
months you can help
your baby hold a rattle.
If you do it each day,
by four to five months
they will hold it for
an extended period of
time on their own. I
always thought kids
had too many toys. Now
I know why toys are
so great. They entertain
children so you can
get some work done.
When I placed a toy
with many activities
that hangs off the side
of the railing in my
baby's crib, I found
I could leave her in
there for an hour while
I did things around
the house. The same
goes for the mat toys
where baby lays on the
floor and looks up at
hanging fish or shapes.
These toys are great
to introduce a bit of
independence into your
baby's day and help
you get a break. Many
toy manufacturers seem
to ignore the sound
decibel level limits
and make electronic
toys too loud. To solve
this problem find the
speaker on the toy and
put tape over it, if
baby is not at the age
to pull tape off and
eat it.
TV
and Videos
Television can over stimulate
a baby and make them
more fussy. They are
visually taking it all
in and then when you
want them to be satisfied
sitting outside and
looking at the flowers,
it is harder to entertain
them. I admit I love
Sesame Street and Mister
Rogers for babies and
toddlers but keep it
to a minimum.
Try to limit TV to 30
minutes. Do not just
turn on cartoon network,
but instead shoot for
educational type programs
you have on DVD or VHS.
Exposing baby to commercials
on TV is setting the
stage for a toddler
who is dependent on
TV and has a hard time
being imaginative. Studies
also show it influences
how they think and what
they eat. Commercials
for junk food are common
on TV.
Showering
when you have a New
Baby
A bath
might work better since
you can put the baby
in the bathroom next
to you in a bouncy chair
and if he/she gets fussy,
use a pacifier or buzzer
to help calm your baby.
A shower in the first
3 months is harder to
accomplish than a bath
if you are alone with
your baby. After 3 months
a shower is no longer
an issue since most
babies by then will
entertain themselves
for longer periods.
Massage
For a baby massage,
you can get creative
and experiment with
what your baby likes.
One way to massage your
baby is after a bath
while putting lotion
on if the weather is
warm enough. Another
way is when baby is
dressed laying on their
back take both your
hands (one on each side)
under the back with
thumbs in front and
use an upward motion
to gently massage your
baby. You can also help
your baby stretch their
arms and legs.
Relationship
Problems due to differing
ideas on how to care
for your baby
It may be even harder
for career couples vs.
traditional couples
due to the attempt at
a 50/50 split. In traditional
couples since the women
would tend to most baby
and household chores,
at least the couples
accept this arrangement
and know who does what.
Whereas in the career
couple, lines are fuzzy
between what really
is 50/50 and not mapping
out specifics can cause
quiet resentment.
Also,
another issue is your
spouse and you may quickly
realize you have different
views on certain issues
that you had never even
thought of, or knew
would exist. It is
important to let go
of some control since
if you do not, you will
have constant battles.
Many women and some
men will criticize their
spouse's or partner's
way of doing things
or always "redoing"
things. This can actually
cause your spouse to
start lacking confidence
which then causes them
to help less. Make
suggestions calmly
such as "You might want
to put the baby in long
sleeves today since
it is supposed to rain"
or sometimes it is just
best to have your spouse
learn the consequences
without your input as
long as it does not
jeopardize the baby's
health or safety.
In a recent article,
I read it stated that
in a long term survey
of many couples, almost
70% had conflict, hostility,
and alienation after
having a baby, which
this article states
"starts many couples
down the road to divorce".
It went on to say 50-80%
of mothers suffer from
depression and 30% of
men suffer as well.
Mothers were also the
first to experience
a "drop in relationship
satisfaction". It
also stated that 35%
of couples will divorce
5 years after a baby
in the US alone. Finally,
the article stated that
depending on how well
you get along and communicate
with your spouse before
your baby arrives will
predict how much a baby
cries, smiles, likes
dad, and can self soothe.
My solution to relationship
strain in the first
few months was making
sure to get a baby-sitter
or family member to
watch my baby at least
once a week. This will
make a big difference
so you do not neglect
your relationship with
your partner.
A GREAT ARTICLE: One of the Best Articles I have read related to the stress a baby can have on a marriage starts out talking about money issues. The part about having a child, is at the end but read the whole article and pass it on to single people Click Here
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