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All babies/children are different but we are all human beings and have certain basic needs. Of course in the first few weeks of life an infant sleeps most the time so you might want to wait a few weeks before worrying about structure, schedules, and sleeping. I personally started from day one with structure, and I am very happy I did.
For best results on getting baby to sleep through the night, start with a feeding schedule then you can move into establishing a sleeping schedule. This feeding schedule will eventually help you to help your baby sleep through the night. Timing is everything here. A baby who sleeps enough, will thrive in so many other ways. These days school children do not get enough sleep and it affects them greatly. It is never too early to start putting some routines into your days and nights. But you have to be flexible since babies are not robots. If your baby is scheduled to eat at 2pm and is crying and seems hungry (sucking your finger off) at 1:15pm, feed your baby. The schedule will soon regulate closer to 2pm as your baby gets older. Often if you engage the child you will see that eating or sleeping is secondary to fun.
With the advice you get from this site and beyond, remember it is not about perfection. It is about having a plan and sticking to it on most days. Babies and kids like a plan. Things will get off at times, especially when a child is sick or has been on vacation or off schedule. Try and get back on track with consistent messages asap during these times. Our offspring are always looking for those inconsistencies within us and our parenting. So all eyes are on you!
You are the teacher and the main guide as your child grows, make sure to teach him/her your values, meaning in things, why you think what you think, and most important, compassion for others.
Crib
From Day One
Sleeping with an infant
or having them in the
same room can cause
later sleep issues when
trying to get them to
sleep in their crib.
If you start from
day one putting them
in their crib, then
this will be a comfortable
and familiar place where
they get use to falling
asleep. Also,
place your baby in their
crib when s/he is awake.
This way they learn
to go to sleep on their
own instead of depending
on you to help them.
This does not mean that
you will not occasionally
have to help your baby
to fall asleep by comforting
them without lifting
them out of the crib,
but usually your baby
should fall asleep on
their own after being
placed in the crib awake
as often as possible.
Some babies will have
a brief crying period
before falling off to
sleep. Some will cry
for 15 minutes!
As
for using a bassinet
in the early days, it
can be much more convenient
for a mother who is
breastfeeding but it
also gives you the added
issue of getting baby
to like their crib once
you want your bedroom
back. Also, resist the
urge to bring your baby
in bed with you since
this will be a difficult
habit to break and can
pose a threat to your
baby's safety. They
will not miss something
they have never had.
With swaddling and a
sleep positioner, even
a 4 day old baby will
feel cozy and be very happy in their
own crib.
Feeding Schedule
and Sleeping through
the night
Getting
your baby to sleep through
the night is a process.
Start with establishing
a feeding schedule from
day one or as soon as
you can.Then once you
are on a feeding schedule
start to work on the
sleeping schedule. It
will make it easier
to read your baby's
needs and crying patterns
this way. Your baby
will also be more content
with structure. Some
people say to feed a
baby when they are hungry
and I agree, but when
you establish a schedule
you are better able
to read their cues and
know when they are truly
hungry. With a schedule
a baby will not get
hungry until they are
close to their next
feeding. So if a baby
cries 2 hours before
the next feeding they
are not hungry; they
are probably tired,
bored, or have gas.
Schedules also help
with establishing trust.
When adhering to a feeding
schedule in the first
few months you may need
occasionally to distract
your baby before their
next feeding. For example
one hour before your
baby is due to eat you
may need to entertain
them more than you do
after the baby is fed.
It also means that in
the early days you may
need to wake your baby
to eat so you can train
their tummy. Waking
the baby occasionally
and getting them on
a feeding schedule is
critical if you want
to have your baby sleep
through the night early
on. If you are consistent
with this you will find
that after 3 months
if not earlier your
hard work will pay off!
Eventually, your baby
will seldom need to
be woken from their
sleep, they will get
hungry close to feeding
times, which helps you
have sanity in your
life. And it will be
only on occasion that
you need to distract
them. Some people believe
that distracting a baby
or waking a baby to
eat is wrong, but I
have found that it works
wonderfully if you stick
to it. You will adjust
it as your baby grows.
You will drop a feeding
at some point as well.
Starting solids will
upset the schedule a
bit, but slightly. Eating
food will decrease amount
in bottle or your milk
supply. Your baby's
schedule can change
as often as every 2
weeks as you find what
works. It might be baby
guided or parent guided.
If you need to go to
work, your baby needs
to wake up so that would
mean your schedule will
change. The good news
is that babies are VERY
adaptable. Usually you
are the only one in
the way of their progress
because you are responsible
for everything with
a baby. You are the
guide.
The schedule I used
during the first month
was a basic 3 hour schedule,
meaning 3 hours from
the start of one meal
to the start of the
next. This is not an
exact science but you
are "shooting for"
or "striving for"
staying on schedule.
By month 2, we were
at a 4 hour schedule.
The 4 hour schedule
was 6am, 10am, 2pm,
6pm, 10pm, and 2am (give
or take 30 minutes either
way on any feeding).
At 2 months, my daughter
seemed to be sleeping
longer on her own. One
night she slept past
2am to 3:30am. I took
my cue and decided to
eliminate the 2am feeding.
At that
point, I waited until
after the 2 month vaccinations
and made sure no one
had to get up early
for a few days. When
she woke at 2am for
her usual feeding, I
gave her the pacifier
to get her back to sleep
and after a few nights
of having to go in and
give the pacifier (once
at 3, then next night
3:30, the next night
5) she finally slept
through to the next
feeding at 5:30 or 6am.
Yet I was not in the
clear yet. Your baby might
sleep until 6am one
night but the next night
it's 4:30am. Basically
you are slowly merging
the middle of the night
feeding with the 6am
feeding. If your baby
wakes up at 4:30am try
to stall baby for 30
minutes and each night
stall longer until baby
sleeps through to their
early morning feeding
between 5 and 7am. To
stall, I gave the pacifier.
This might only
work for 20-40 minutes.
Then what? Pacifier
again. That might buy you 15 more minutes.
The goal is to try and
stall until you are
as close as you can
get to 6am.
Other ways
to stall your baby until the next feeding are you can
take time with a diaper
change, rock your baby,
or help baby find their
thumb to suck. With
a pacifier, after giving
the binkie to baby, go back to bed even
if you have to get up
every 15 minutes to
give the pacifier again.
After the early morning
feeding between 5-7am
put your baby back to
sleep and most babies
will sleep an additional
few hours. This is a good time for you to sleep too. When baby
wakes up, you will start
to see that if they
have gotten enough sleep,
they are very happy
upon waking. If your
baby is crabby after
any period of sleep,
they probably need to
sleep more. Remember
BABIES NEED LOTS OF
SLEEP!
Another
approach that many parents
use successfully is
when your baby wakes
for the 2 am or middle
of the night feeding,
you can let your baby
"cry it out," and each
night let baby cry a
few more minutes before
going in the room.
The theory behind this
is baby cries themselves
to sleep eventually.
It may sound harsh but
your baby should learn
in a few days crying
does not get them anywhere
in the middle of the
night. This will not
harm your baby. It is
Ok for a baby to cry. If
your baby gets frantic
you can pick your baby up and
soothe them, but you will be back to square one, and you do not want to give mixed messages. This makes it harder. But if you have to go in just try
again the following
night. I recommend not going in period! It gets the fastest results with no mixed messages. My husband had to hold me back at times. I even would go in the backyard since it was so hard to hear the screams. It will work
after a few nights, especially if you are consistent.
The more you can stay
away the clearer the
message. This also holds
true with weaning from
a pacifier, swaddle,
or blanket. You can
teach your baby and
the baby is looking
to you as their guide.
Thankfully
my daughter used a pacifier,
and this was a key factor
to getting her back
to sleep at any time
in the first few months.
By 3 months, my baby
was sleeping from 10-13
hours each night with
a 30 minute feeding/diaper
change between 5:30am
and 7am. By 6 months
the pacifier was not
necessary except on
a rare occasion and
I say you should do away with it
by 7-8 months, if not
sooner. This will save you from a much harder habit breaking session. The older the baby is, the harder a habit can be to break. Do not forget
that if you stroke a
babies head softly,
it will help them relax.
Once you eliminate the middle of the night
feeding, you can slowly
make bedtime earlier
if that is a preference
for you. Your baby will
wake up in the middle
of the night but this
does not mean you need
to wake up too. I often
peek in and see my daughter
in the morning awake
smiling at her mobile.
I then go back 10 minutes
later and she is asleep. SIDENOTE: Another thing to keep in mind is children from 1-10 years old should go to bed by between 7-8 p.m. every night. This is what experts say.
For me it took less
than one week to cut
out the 2 am feeding.
But I went on my babies
cue when she decided
to sleep a few hours
beyond that 2am feeding.
So don't miss your cue
or you will have many
more needless nights
of sleeplessness. Things
just got better by 10-16
weeks when most babies
can wait for food even
longer. They learn to
trust you and their
schedule. It is amazing
that most babies by
2-3 months old are capable
of sleeping 12 hours
each night with 2-3
short naps (30-60 minutes)
during the day.
I also know people who
have used a WATER
Method successfully.
This involves giving
a baby an ounce or less
of water instead
of their milk, when they wake in the
middle of the night.
They soon learn it is
no fun to wake up for
water. The first two
nights can be hard but
your baby will learn
quickly.
I personally
did not implement any
nap schedule until my
baby was 3.5 months.
At that time I just
started placing baby
(no swaddle) in her
crib to play, and sleep
would follow. Before
that, I let my baby
dose off during the
day as often as she
liked without worrying
that she would not sleep
at night. By 6 months
my baby was sleeping
from 6pm to 6am each
night with two 1 hour
naps each day. Even
when it seemed like
she slept most of the
day, she would still
sleep fine at night.
Also, during the
day only, try to keep
a baby up after eating
for at least 15-30 minutes
if not longer. This
will help establish
a good pattern so the
baby will sleep when
placed in the crib awake.
The only exception to
this is during the night
after a feeding; your
baby can be put back
to bed immediately.
If
a baby has true colic
or is just fussier than
most, you may need
to wait until they are
more content to cut
the evening feeding
but for most babies
eliminating the middle
of the night feeding
can be done around 8-9
weeks or once baby is
12 to 13 lbs. These
numbers can vary with
children. Often times
your baby will start
sleeping longer on their
own. When this happens
it might be time for
you to take action.
A friend of mine whose
baby had colic gave
their 2 month old formula
with rice in it and
opened up the nipple
so it could pass easier.
They swore this ended
colic for their baby.
Remember, our parents
gave cereal at one month.
Make sure to check with
the baby's pediatrician.
Colic is such a catch
all term these days
but it does seem to
be related to one or
more of the following:
gas, digestion problems,
sensitivity to lights,
noise, or temperature.
Most parents fear colic
during the first month
while baby is adjusting
to the world. But usually
this is a normal transition
period where you are
establishing a schedule
while getting to know
your baby's preferences.
Babies will be more
fussy in the first month
but each month should
get better.
If you
have a poor eater
and your baby is
not sick, it could mean
the baby needs to have
one feeding eliminated,
or the flow of the nipple
needs to be adjusted.
Try your best not to
get emotional over feeding
issues since a baby
will pick up on this
tension. A baby, just
like an adult, will
have variations from
time to time in terms
of food intake. If your
baby usually eats 6
oz and for one or two
feedings a week only
wanted 4 oz, that is
nothing to worry about
as long as the baby
is growing and happy.On the
other hand, when your
baby has a growth spurt
and suddenly starts
eating more, it is also
nothing to worry about.
When the spurt ends
baby may eat less. Never
force food on a baby.
Most will naturally
stop when they are full.
You do not want mealtime
struggles since they
often continue into
the toddler years. Remember
unless the baby is sick,
they will eat when they
are hungry.
To conclude this lengthy
section, it
was a long journey to
get through these first
months but if you "sleep train" a baby and have a consistent pattern to your days and nights, it will pay off. Your child needs to know you are in control. This makes them feel safe. So if they know what their day consists of, they will be more content.
Read section "Other Topics of Interest" section for advice about Weaning and Habit breaking when you are ready to do away with swaddling or pacifiers.
Snoring
Sound while Eating
You might notice a heavy
snoring or wheezing
type sound in your newborn
especially while eating.
This is usually normal
if it is only during
the feeding time. The
problem with asking
your doctor about this
normal condition is
that it is hard to have
your baby repeat it
while in the office.
You do want to rule
out asthma, especially
if you or your partner
has asthma. This noise
causes needless worry
in new parents.
If
baby falls asleep while
eating
Sometimes a baby will
fall asleep when eating.
Some babies especially
in the early days, look
like they are asleep
the entire time they
are eating! They are
actually eating very
slowly. If you cannot
awaken your baby to
finish a feeding, a
diaper change will help.
Also, it is not uncommon
a few times a week when
your baby drinks less
than usual. Appetites
can vary slightly from
day to day.
Bedtime
Routine
Make sure to start some
type of routine in the
evening like bath, story,
feeding, diaper change,
swaddle, and then off
to dream land…………..
This
will help the baby feel
happy and content.
When
Baby Wakes Up in the
Middle of the Night
Once
your baby starts sleeping
more and has already
skipped the middle of
the night feeding there
is still that inevitable
night waking from time
to time. In the middle
of the night when your
baby wakes up check
if the baby has leaked
without moving him/her
or without lifting baby
from the crib. If
there is no leak, stroke
baby's head for a minute
to soothe them back
to sleep or give a pacifier.
Then leave the room
and go back to bed.
This response to waking
should be consistent.
If baby cries 5 minutes
later, try it again.
If baby cries again
a few minutes later
there is probably a
burp stuck or gas.
At this point pick baby
up for a minute and
pat their back staying
near the crib. By going
to rock the baby, you
just create another
habit to break. Rock
baby in the morning,
during the day or early
evening, not in the
middle of the night
just for comfort because
it will become a habit.
Usually the gas or burp
will just come up by
picking your baby up.
Since
there is not much you
can do about gas besides
gas drops and/or distraction,
(the distraction in
this case will be sleep)
it is best to put your
baby back in the crib
and leave the room once
more. Once your baby
goes back to sleep,
gas subsides for a while
and will seems to disappear
with the morning meal.
I always found it amazing
how much gas hurts a
baby, while we would
assume a bowel movement
would hurt more. When
a baby has a BM, their
face can turn red and
they seem to strain
like they are constipated,
yet this is normal.
It is tempting to give
the baby an early meal
knowing that this will
help the gas situation.
Try to stall the baby
with the feeding until
you are within 30-60
minutes away from the
early morning feeding.
If the baby wakes at
3am, it might take until
4am or longer to get
your baby back to sleep,
but this will decrease
with time. In the long
run your baby will rarely
wake during the night
or at least until teething
strikes. So just keep
going with stroking
the head and giving
the pacifier no matter
how tedious this seems.
I am also assuming the
baby is not sick with
a cold or a temperature.
Changing
baby in the middle of
the night - will it
wake your baby?
Much
of the advice I read
about getting baby to
sleep through the night
mentioned that you should
not change baby unless
you have to (very heavy
diaper, soiled, or leak).
Change
your baby if needed
at 4am, it won't delay
things much. Once changed,
place your baby back
in the crib. I have found one benefit to changing your baby at night, it can lead to less leaks and less early wake-up.
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